What if I like to question at times? Does it make me a doubter, rebellious or trouble-maker?
Thanks for coming and visiting the new blog.
Here's the deal. I like to think. I like to learn. I find the strangest things of interest and worthy of humor.
I enjoy asking questions...and because I am over 50 now (don't ask how far over - I am just getting used to it)... I am not as selective as I used to be about which questions to ask. I know some of my questions and comments will cause discomfort, but it will also cause freshness and provoke more thought....therefore probably more questions.
I am on a journey, and I don't mind sharing it.
Not writing to "straigthen anyone out..."
Not writing to "prove my point..."
Just sharing my journey - I am still learning and growing.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
What if...my church, my house..I vote no on a bailout
I made a decision about something very dear to my heart. It was a necessary thing for me, but painful because it would mean owning up to my own issues I had to face.
For a long time, I made excuses for myself as a minister and for others and for the church. After a while when serious issues came up, I found myself saying, "I don't want to know....don't even tell me." And why? Well, bottom line is - then I would have to actually look at it, make a judgement - which I did not want to do. I just did not want to deal with it. So I kept "bailing out" situations, people's poor character - probably all in the name of "walking in love" - yikes - that is a slippery road.
I am continually writing this note and erasing it and re-writing it, thinking perhaps I can improve on the way I write it. I don't know how to say it any other way. Remember, this is my journey and I have to judge myself with each sentence I write.
So I vote "no" for bailing out my church, my house.
From here on out, you are on your own. If someone comes to me with their hurts because of the horrible abuse they have experienced or the lousy way they have been treated by leadership - the shunning - no excuses for you, leadership - you are on your own.
My friends, if you work or volunteer in a situation where you have no voice, opinions are not welcome - or you are afraid to share honestly because of fear of how you will be treated - think seriously about why you feel that way.
If you work or volunteer somewhere where it is your job to "make leadership look good" ask yourself why is that? Can't they look good on their own? Do they need that much help? I have never understood this philosophy.
If you are volunteering at a church for hours and hours and this is beginning to wear on your marriage and family - stop doing it. Go home and love your family. Don't sacrifice your marriage and family for someone else's vision. Ministry is not before family. Never has been.
If you belong to a church where you never see the senior pastor visting the sick, feeding the poor, helping those who are hurting or is not accessible to the people in the church - you may want to ask yourself if he is a pastor. Thank God he has a great staff who "make him look good."
Young people - could you take it upon yourselves to re-define "Youth Group?" If I were to ever pastor again with my husband, the youth would probably not be in the 4 walls of the church playing the best video games, prophesying to one another and having repentence meetings every week.... we'd be out in the community helping build houses, feeding the poor, helping teach people to read, being big brothers and sisters to kids who don't have a dad or mom in their life. I guarantee as young people, you will sense more purpose and direction for your life. You have so much to share, such creativity to use for the kingdom - you really could turn the world upside down or right side up.
Now, just so you don't think I have completely gone daft - I still love the church - always have. I still love ministers and ministry - and there are still good churches and good pastors. And I have not even taken time to share how awful ministers are treated by people.
My voice is really for the younger ministers, younger Christians,and younger people who will consider ministry. It is for you I write this. Certain patterns and standards that exist now are not correct and you need to understand that it will be you who will need to pioneer a fresh road, reform some areas.....and still bring honor to the King.
For a long time, I made excuses for myself as a minister and for others and for the church. After a while when serious issues came up, I found myself saying, "I don't want to know....don't even tell me." And why? Well, bottom line is - then I would have to actually look at it, make a judgement - which I did not want to do. I just did not want to deal with it. So I kept "bailing out" situations, people's poor character - probably all in the name of "walking in love" - yikes - that is a slippery road.
I am continually writing this note and erasing it and re-writing it, thinking perhaps I can improve on the way I write it. I don't know how to say it any other way. Remember, this is my journey and I have to judge myself with each sentence I write.
So I vote "no" for bailing out my church, my house.
From here on out, you are on your own. If someone comes to me with their hurts because of the horrible abuse they have experienced or the lousy way they have been treated by leadership - the shunning - no excuses for you, leadership - you are on your own.
My friends, if you work or volunteer in a situation where you have no voice, opinions are not welcome - or you are afraid to share honestly because of fear of how you will be treated - think seriously about why you feel that way.
If you work or volunteer somewhere where it is your job to "make leadership look good" ask yourself why is that? Can't they look good on their own? Do they need that much help? I have never understood this philosophy.
If you are volunteering at a church for hours and hours and this is beginning to wear on your marriage and family - stop doing it. Go home and love your family. Don't sacrifice your marriage and family for someone else's vision. Ministry is not before family. Never has been.
If you belong to a church where you never see the senior pastor visting the sick, feeding the poor, helping those who are hurting or is not accessible to the people in the church - you may want to ask yourself if he is a pastor. Thank God he has a great staff who "make him look good."
Young people - could you take it upon yourselves to re-define "Youth Group?" If I were to ever pastor again with my husband, the youth would probably not be in the 4 walls of the church playing the best video games, prophesying to one another and having repentence meetings every week.... we'd be out in the community helping build houses, feeding the poor, helping teach people to read, being big brothers and sisters to kids who don't have a dad or mom in their life. I guarantee as young people, you will sense more purpose and direction for your life. You have so much to share, such creativity to use for the kingdom - you really could turn the world upside down or right side up.
Now, just so you don't think I have completely gone daft - I still love the church - always have. I still love ministers and ministry - and there are still good churches and good pastors. And I have not even taken time to share how awful ministers are treated by people.
My voice is really for the younger ministers, younger Christians,and younger people who will consider ministry. It is for you I write this. Certain patterns and standards that exist now are not correct and you need to understand that it will be you who will need to pioneer a fresh road, reform some areas.....and still bring honor to the King.
What if...my church, my house
I want to pass on a thought, a concept, that I did not realize quite as deeply until I had slowed down long enough in my life to actually "hear" ...here goes... remember, I am the one on a journey...
About 2 years ago I was assisting a pastor (a woman - no name - no city - and this has come up more that once in conversation with ministers) in writing a note that was going to be sent to their congregation. I was taking notes while we spoke. She said, "Barb, write this down, this is what I want to say.... 'Your serving and volunteering in this church is directly related to how much God will bless you in every area of your life.'
Whoops, I thought.... I asked her to repeat that - she did - I asked if I could read it back to her - she said yes - I did - I asked if I wrote it correctly and that was indeed what she meant to say - she was confident, firm - yes, that's it.....
Because I made this vow to myself to be honest when confronted with certain issues - I began, "I am not sure you really want to say that - no? - no - Would you like to know why?" Ummmm ....she was not sure, but did give permission to me to share............. OK, here goes...........
1. If that is a true statement, how much do I have to volunteer to be blessed by God?
2. If it is the nursery, is it one time a week, two times.... every Sunday AM or can I be a little blessed with one Sunday service or totally, over the top blessed if it is 3 services a week?
3. Or, can I be super abundantly blessed if it is every service of every week of every month, PLUS any special meetings at the church that needs nursery?
4. Will volunteering more increase my chance to get healed? Be blessed financially? I mean if this statement is from God and is scriptural, then it would be unfair to not know exactly what is required to be blessed in direct proportion to how much I volunteer.
5. What if I have a child who is sick? A parent who is bed ridden? ...or I have to work 3 jobs to keep food on the table and I just don't have time to volunteer because I am doing all I can to keep my sanity and provide for my family? Or would you say that if my faith were working properly, I would not have these issues in my life? I am glad the nail scars are not on your body.
Or, could the bottom line be that if I don't volunteer, pastor, YOU might treat me differently? You might judge me as not being supportive of the church because I don't volunteer, or I don't volunteer enough.
Now, don't get me wrong. I have pastored with my husband. I understand volunteering. But whether a person volunteers in the church or not, should not affect how they are treated by anyone. It is good to volunteer because you love people and love God and just want to serve - and yes, you can grow, make great friends, and feel like you are making a difference - but I would never tell you that God will love you anymore or bless you anymore because of it. And...... if for some reason you break your leg and can't volunteer anymore - you are just as valuable to God and the Body of Christ - I don't think you should be treated any different just because now you can not volunteer.
So the question is on 2 levels -
Ministers - do we tend to judge and treat people based on their performance in the church? Do we tend to gravitate and notice those we think can offer the church the most talent, time and ability? Oh, and money?
Volunteers - are we volunteering because we just love God and want to serve Him and serve people? Or are we hoping it will gain us recognition from leadership and we can stay in their good graces? And are we making sure that as we volunteer and love the church people, we are doing the same at home and taking care of our families and not neglecting them? Are we putting our families first and not the church?
I trust you hear my heart.... and this is just a random issue.... if you have a particular issue bothering you, email me we will discuss it - perhaps you can share perspective with me that will help me also.
About 2 years ago I was assisting a pastor (a woman - no name - no city - and this has come up more that once in conversation with ministers) in writing a note that was going to be sent to their congregation. I was taking notes while we spoke. She said, "Barb, write this down, this is what I want to say.... 'Your serving and volunteering in this church is directly related to how much God will bless you in every area of your life.'
Whoops, I thought.... I asked her to repeat that - she did - I asked if I could read it back to her - she said yes - I did - I asked if I wrote it correctly and that was indeed what she meant to say - she was confident, firm - yes, that's it.....
Because I made this vow to myself to be honest when confronted with certain issues - I began, "I am not sure you really want to say that - no? - no - Would you like to know why?" Ummmm ....she was not sure, but did give permission to me to share............. OK, here goes...........
1. If that is a true statement, how much do I have to volunteer to be blessed by God?
2. If it is the nursery, is it one time a week, two times.... every Sunday AM or can I be a little blessed with one Sunday service or totally, over the top blessed if it is 3 services a week?
3. Or, can I be super abundantly blessed if it is every service of every week of every month, PLUS any special meetings at the church that needs nursery?
4. Will volunteering more increase my chance to get healed? Be blessed financially? I mean if this statement is from God and is scriptural, then it would be unfair to not know exactly what is required to be blessed in direct proportion to how much I volunteer.
5. What if I have a child who is sick? A parent who is bed ridden? ...or I have to work 3 jobs to keep food on the table and I just don't have time to volunteer because I am doing all I can to keep my sanity and provide for my family? Or would you say that if my faith were working properly, I would not have these issues in my life? I am glad the nail scars are not on your body.
Or, could the bottom line be that if I don't volunteer, pastor, YOU might treat me differently? You might judge me as not being supportive of the church because I don't volunteer, or I don't volunteer enough.
Now, don't get me wrong. I have pastored with my husband. I understand volunteering. But whether a person volunteers in the church or not, should not affect how they are treated by anyone. It is good to volunteer because you love people and love God and just want to serve - and yes, you can grow, make great friends, and feel like you are making a difference - but I would never tell you that God will love you anymore or bless you anymore because of it. And...... if for some reason you break your leg and can't volunteer anymore - you are just as valuable to God and the Body of Christ - I don't think you should be treated any different just because now you can not volunteer.
So the question is on 2 levels -
Ministers - do we tend to judge and treat people based on their performance in the church? Do we tend to gravitate and notice those we think can offer the church the most talent, time and ability? Oh, and money?
Volunteers - are we volunteering because we just love God and want to serve Him and serve people? Or are we hoping it will gain us recognition from leadership and we can stay in their good graces? And are we making sure that as we volunteer and love the church people, we are doing the same at home and taking care of our families and not neglecting them? Are we putting our families first and not the church?
I trust you hear my heart.... and this is just a random issue.... if you have a particular issue bothering you, email me we will discuss it - perhaps you can share perspective with me that will help me also.
What if...my church, my house
"What if people were invited to come tell what they already know of God instead of to learn what they are supposed to believe? What if they were blessed for what they are doing in the world instead of chastened for not doing more in the church? What if church felt more like a way station than a destination? What if the church's job were to move people out the door instead of trying to keep them in, by convincing them that God needed them more in the world than in the church?" ("Leaving the Church" by Barbara Brown Taylor)
This portion of a book I am reading so accurately tells how I feel - that I wanted to share it. I feel compelled to pass on these thoughts not only to my friends, but to a younger generation who will be leading the church in the future (and even now)..... After 32 years in ministry, I have experienced enough and seen enough to speak - with no malice, no anger, no judgement - but with a keen sense of clarity and love for the Body of Christ. Remember we are part of His Body. The world needs us - just as we are - it's OK. And it needs us to be who we are - God's children - His family - we don't have to appeal to the people with hype, smoke, entertainment, great marketing plans, or compromising our new birth - His life in us - let's give people more credit than that - they want authentic Christianity - they want real people just being followers of Jesus Christ- "preaching the Gospel and using words only if necessary"
They don't care how you dress - they don't measure your spirituality by how much money or material things you have.. they just want someone real.
I have to admit, I have been embarrassed by much of what I see with ministry - my perspective now is broadened and I have spent time repenting and asking forgiveness if I have offended anyone or treated anyone wrong while in ministry - I truly never intended to, but I am sure I did. I have been helping people lately who don't have much - heck, I don't have much, but I am grateful for what I have. But I realize how strange I must have looked to some....subscribing to fund raising letters that ask for material things - when I know full well, some person with only a dime to his name will give it - please don't... I don't think God will even respond to many of these mail pleas, don't feel you must.
I had to look at my church - my house - to find the church, my house... and just because I looked at it and asked God questions about it doesn't mean I am not saved, don't love God - actually it was quite healthy for me.
This is about my journey, my thoughts, right or wrong to you....it is my own discovery and I trust I will be able to take all I have learned (and much I have learned from my own loving family) and be productive for this next part of the journey... Much has been deposited into my life which I am grateful for - So I may not always "say" it the best or express it the best, but I am new to this - actually having an opinion and passing it on.
This portion of a book I am reading so accurately tells how I feel - that I wanted to share it. I feel compelled to pass on these thoughts not only to my friends, but to a younger generation who will be leading the church in the future (and even now)..... After 32 years in ministry, I have experienced enough and seen enough to speak - with no malice, no anger, no judgement - but with a keen sense of clarity and love for the Body of Christ. Remember we are part of His Body. The world needs us - just as we are - it's OK. And it needs us to be who we are - God's children - His family - we don't have to appeal to the people with hype, smoke, entertainment, great marketing plans, or compromising our new birth - His life in us - let's give people more credit than that - they want authentic Christianity - they want real people just being followers of Jesus Christ- "preaching the Gospel and using words only if necessary"
They don't care how you dress - they don't measure your spirituality by how much money or material things you have.. they just want someone real.
I have to admit, I have been embarrassed by much of what I see with ministry - my perspective now is broadened and I have spent time repenting and asking forgiveness if I have offended anyone or treated anyone wrong while in ministry - I truly never intended to, but I am sure I did. I have been helping people lately who don't have much - heck, I don't have much, but I am grateful for what I have. But I realize how strange I must have looked to some....subscribing to fund raising letters that ask for material things - when I know full well, some person with only a dime to his name will give it - please don't... I don't think God will even respond to many of these mail pleas, don't feel you must.
I had to look at my church - my house - to find the church, my house... and just because I looked at it and asked God questions about it doesn't mean I am not saved, don't love God - actually it was quite healthy for me.
This is about my journey, my thoughts, right or wrong to you....it is my own discovery and I trust I will be able to take all I have learned (and much I have learned from my own loving family) and be productive for this next part of the journey... Much has been deposited into my life which I am grateful for - So I may not always "say" it the best or express it the best, but I am new to this - actually having an opinion and passing it on.
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