What if.... I recall why I love Him?

I either walk or drive by that church one block from my house most every day... the one where I heard about Jesus. That was March of 1970.

Invited by high school friends to attend a "Youth Sunday"... I went

The only open seat was in the front row. I was not a "churched person", so I had no pre-conceived expectations. I am quite sure the people there realized this was all new to me. I was quite a sight now that I look back.

They never hesitated to serve communion to me at the end of the service. I was not saved ... (now that is what I call "open communion" - I think God was looking at a heart).

I followed everyone to the altar to take communion - well, the crowd was going, I figured I should follow. No clue what that wine and bread were all about, but when it was my turn, they spoke, "The Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ broken and shed for you."....

Anyway, took my front row seat when I got there...

Listened to youth sing...

Was intrigued by the little prayer book we read scripture from... as I scrambled to find the pages and turn to them before everyone was done reading...

Sensed something quite strange happening in me as I listened to an older gentleman share at the front of the church...his tone...the way he spoke about a Savior... like he knew Him. Like he so loved Him, he wanted to tell us about Him.

More on all that later....

I am back to "square one" in my journey. I recall why I love Him....because He first loved me.

Maybe people come to Him for different reasons - and they are probably all good ones. My journey reminds me everyday now a reason so simple that it transformed my life.

It was all about my heart seeing and knowing that He loved me...just as I was... He accepted me. He had died for me...

To be loved unconditionally - I did not have to earn it - I did not have to come back next week after I had a week of "being good"...no, right now - as I was - He would accept me.

And seeing that...broke me. I was changed...I had no problem surrendering...I completely trusted (and still do) ... His love for me. And knowing His character helps me judge doctrine or the words from a pulpit.. Sometimes I have left meetings and gone home and said, " I may not know all the scriptures to refute what I heard, but I know it is not the God I know."

That love transformed me. And I know that when I first began my walk with Him, it was my total motivation for everything. I think my walk might have been purer then - probably more effective.

Sorry, Lord - you know I have been on this repentance kick lately - maybe trying to get back to "square one." I know, I know, You still take me "just as I am."

But I came to him in that condition - on those terms...

I did not know He was a healer... so I did not love Him because I thought He would heal me.

I did not know He would prosper me... so I did not love Him because I thought He would provide what I could believe and confess for. I did not love Him because perhaps I would wind up with any riches.

I did not even know I was avoiding hell ... so I did not love Him because I was afraid if I did not, I would go to hell.

I am grateful for His sacrifice for those things - I don't take it lightly - It's just that when this all started for me -

it's wasn't the reason I walked with Him

it wasn't the reason I loved Him

I loved Him - because He first loved me -